The first episode of Four Finger Spatchcock for 2014 is here! In this episode, we compare Google to The Matrix, and explore the implications of that. Also, I break down my top 10 games of the last console generation (look for a full article on these choices here very soon).
Episode 11 of Four Finger Spatchcock is now up! Our Extra Life ordeal is over, and we have reason to celebrate. Thank you so much for all your donations, and please give our new episode a listen!
With the anticipation of the release of Grand Theft Auto V building and building, we got a bit lost on this episode and spent most of our time gushing about all things GTA. There’s some other stuff in there as well, but be prepared for our lot of GTA talk. And make sure to listen next week, when we’ll be talking about GTA V itself in great detail.
As usual, listen below, or hit the subscribe link.
I’m currently standing in line waiting for a copy of the new GTA. Dear Reader, the anticipation is killing me. I’ve written here before about my love of the series, and standing here at a midnight launch for the latest entry is awesome. This is just a quick heads up because I am going to be playing the living shit out of it from here on out, so look out for a detailed review in about a week or so, or listen to Four Finger Spatchcock, where I’m sure we’ll be talking about it in long, gushing, crazed fan boy detail. Peace!
So, Dear Reader, I’ve been playing a lot of Assassin’s Creed III recently. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the first game. I can admit that the original Assassin’s Creed could get really fucking boring in terms of gameplay, but the high concept story, with its present day interaction with Desmond, the travelling into the past via the Animus to relive events of the life of assassin Altaïr, and whatever the fuck was going with the First Civilisation, had me hooked, and it was enough to keep me coming back.
Assassin’s Creed II was a great leap forward. Ezio was a far more interesting character than Altaïr, and the gameplay improved dramatically. Brotherhood and Revelations didn’t do a whole lot to improve on that area, but the trilogy of stories circling around Ezio were bad arse, and the ending of Revelations left me hungry for more.
I was excited for Assassin’s Creed III right from the get go. I wrote a short piece when the reveal trailer was first… ahem, revealed, and it was certainly among my favourite games shown at E3 2012. So I’ve been playing it pretty heavily since getting it, which unfortunately has only been recently, as the life of a married computer technician who has finally moved to the big smoke is met with much busy times, and not much money. But I’ve been going crazy on Connor’s arse since I’ve had him home (Connor is the main character of the game, by the way, he’s not some guy I met at a pub and bought home for sexy time), and I’ve been loving it so far. The gameplay itself hasn’t changed much, and Connor himself is a bit uninteresting, but the story I’ve been dying to see finish has been playing out nicely, and the sections with Desmond in the present day are really fucking cool.
But the point I want to get to, Dear Reader, as you may have guessed from the title of the article, is the glitches I’ve been experiencing. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t take away from the overall experience, I merely want to share them as I found them quite amusing. Also, I’ve been playing on PC, so I don’t know if these exact same problems exist on the Xbox 360 and PS3 versions, but here they are nonetheless.
One of the first things that happened once I started the game, in the very first cutscene, was that the hair colour on the characters were… funky. I think it might be some sort of issue related to the lighting effects in the game, because when the light hits the hair from certain angles, it changed character’s hair colour to gree, pink, bright red, all sorts of crazy shit. I even rescued on bearded man whose hair on his head and his beard were entirely flouro green for a whole cutscene! Unfortunately, I didn’t have Fraps open at the time to screenshot that, so you’ll have to make do with the above picture, which shows some crazy redness in this character’s beard.
And then, there was this:
On my way to meet Sam Adams, roaming through Boston, I was climbing near the side of a building… and proceeded to fall into the bulding itself, trapped inside. I had to quit and reload the game after several minutes of trying to escape. It wasn’t all bad though. I did get a kick out of being stuck inside there, but somehow managing to bump into and annoy a guy who was standing outside the building. Good times.
As I say, although there are these odd abnormalities, Assassin’s Creed III is still a great game, and things like this sometimes add to the enjoyment of the game. I still remember fondly playing GTA: Vice City on the Playstation 2, and on the second island, if you tried to run up a certain set of stairs, you would fall through the map itself, be stuck floating or falling or I don’t know what inside of some kind of horrible Limbo, and eventually, die for an unexplained reason. I tried YouTubing this exact glitch, but unfortunately found nothing. But man, I would do that shit over and over and it never got old.
So, Dear Reader, what have you been playing lately? And do you have any glitches that you would like to share?
Bring on the gratuitous violence, the hardcore nudity, and all the shits, fucks, cunts, etc. that you can handle coming out of people’s mouths, Dear Reader, because, after many years and shitloads of debating, Australia is finally going to be getting a R18+ rating for video games. Blood and tits, hooray!
A bill was introduced into Federal Parliament today bringing classification categories for gaming in line with existing categories for films and television shows.
The amendments to the Classification Act 1995 and Broadcasting Services Act 1992 are expected to come into effect by January of next year.
In all seriousness, this has something that has been a long time coming, and I’m glad it’s now actually going to happen. The rest of the developed world already has an adult rating for video games. Unfortunately for us here in Australia, a country that represents itself as laid back, relaxed and forward-thinking but is in fact very politically and culturally conservative, we have rested on our laurels on this issue (along with the issue of gay marriage, another hot-button topic here at the moment, but that’s another article for another time).
As adults, we should be able to decide what kinds of entertainment we choose to consume. Of course, if anything is representative of things that still exist outside the realms of our normal classifications, then it’s going to get banned, just as it would be with film or television. And that’s fine. That’s the way it should be. It was the dichotomy between video games and other forms of entertainment that was the problem. And anyone who would argue against an adult rating for video games in the name of protecting children is, quite frankly, a FUCKING MORON. If it’s a game intended for adults, children should not be playing them anyway, and surely, an R18+ sticker on a game is going to enforce the message that they aren’t made for kids much more strongly than an MA15+ ever could, and if it’s the parents buying these games for their children, then again, they are a FUCKING MORON.
So to celebrate Australia not looking backwards-as-fuck to the rest of the world (at least for a little while), and finally, at long last treating the adults of our great nation with some fucking respect, here is some graphic video game nudity for you, Dear Reader.
The Electronic Entertainment Expo, or E3, is officially underway in this great year 2012, and although there’s still plenty more to come, the big 3 companies, that is Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo, have had their big press conferences filled with some huge announcements, so it’s time for The Dukes Playground to talk about what the show has given us so far, and to share my favourites from what I’ve seen.
So here it is, the E3 breakdown, as presented by The Dukes Playground, with the good shit thrown in, and the boring shit filtered out.
This is one of the big ones for me, not only as a fan of South Park, but also due to the fact that a series of layoffs at developer Obsidian in March caused fear that this game would disappear for good. Thankfully, South Park: The Stick Of Truth is still on its way, due to be released in March 2013. Creators of South Park Trey and Matt were at E3 to unveil the trailer for the game, and it looks awesome!
All the way back in 1996, the world was first introduced to the now very famous character of Lara Croft in the excellent original Tomb Raider. 16 years on, we have a game of the same name, but of a fairly different colour. Obviously, much has changed since the original, and now after several sequels, developer Crystal Dynamics is looking to reboot the franchise. This new version of Tomb Raider shows Lara as an innocent, young explorer, before she becomes the strong heroine we recognise from the other games in the franchise. Smart option for an old franchise such as this. Check out this kick-arse gameplay footage!
After Gears Of War 3 closed out an epic trilogy in September of last year, it appears that people were hungry for more from the Gears universe (myself included). Since the future for Sera is looking quite good, Judgment will be taking us into the past, 18 years before the first Gears to be exact. Not a huge amount is known about the game yet, apart from the previously stated time period and the fact that the game is played from the perspective of Baird and Cole, two secondary characters from the previous Gears titles. Here’s a little teaser.
We’ve known about this game for some time now (I’ve even written about it here previously), but E3 has given Ubisoft the opportunity to showcase the game much more heavily, show how the game will work on the upcoming Wii U, give us some multiplayer info, and we got the debut of the awesome CG trailer posted below. While this obviously isn’t showing any gameplay footage, I for one can’t help but get fucking amped watching this shit. Check it out.
After the absolute brilliance that was Rayman Origins, here we have Rayman Legends. It appears to be pretty much the same as its predecessor gameplay-wise, which hey, isn’t a bad fucking thing at all. The game has only been announced for the upcoming Wii U so far, with a live E3 demo showcasing features that would only work on that console. There’s plenty of reason to believe it will show up on the other major platforms though, so fingers crossed!
While the original Dead Space was a pretty good game, Dead Space 2 was a fucking great game, with the same visceral thrills as the first game, but adding a much stronger, deeper, character-driven narrative, and serving as a huge mindfuck. It’s for that reason I’m very excited to continue Isaac Clarke’s story in Dead Space 3. After the amount of shit this poor guy has had to go through, I can’t even imagine the toll it must have taken on him when we do enter the world of this third game, but it’ll be great to see just how far Visceral plans to push the envelope this time. Check out the gameplay footage below.
There’s an absolute fuckton of Star Wars games out there, Dear Reader, but there’s not really many that are actually worth your time. Knights Of The Old Republic comes to mind, definitely, as does Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II. That’s pretty much it. Hopefully, the upcoming Star Wars: 1313 can be added to that short list of great Star Wars games. Set sometime between the film trilogies, the game follows a yet to be named bounty hunter on Level 1313 on the over 5000 level building on the planet Coruscant, the Imperial capital. LucasArts appears to be going for a more mature feel with this title, instead of delivering us a bunch of cutesy, Ewok, Jar-Jar Binks type bullshit. I say bring it on, and fingers crossed they can deliver us a great game.
So that about wraps it up. Of course, there have been many, many more titles announced or shown off at E3 so far this year, too, some of them even look pretty cool, like Crysis 3 or The Last Of Us, for example. But these have been left out as the games I have gone into detail about above are for me the cream of the crop, the ones I’m really pumped for. You may also notice a lack of Nintendo stuff spotlighted above. Nothing against Nintendo, it’s just that the way they seem to be going really isn’t my thing, and there’s only so much Mario stuff a guy can take, just like fucking Call Of Duty, or even worse, Halo.
What titles are you getting excited about, Dear Reader? Hit me up in the comments.