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So in The Fifth Element, Leeloo, played by Milla Jovovich, is constantly referred to as perfect. When priest Vito Cornelius, and some others, refer to her as perfect, they mean of course that she is a supreme being, she’s the fucking fifth element, she’s important to the future of humanity. But when the hero of the film, Korben Dallas, and by extension, the audience themselves, are told that she is perfect, it is romanticised, and so we’re meant to see her as being the perfect woman, in terms of appearance and her potential as a partner.

So inThe Fifth Element, Leeloo ends up with Korben Dallas, played by Bruce Willis, in the end. You would think that the perfect woman should end up with the perfect man, and she ends up with… Bruce Willis. So therefore, in the world ofThe Fifth Element, Bruce Willis is the perfect man.

Good for you, man. Good for you.

I think Bruce Willis is pretty cool and all, and I love me some fucking Die Hard, but perfect? If he is, that sucks for Demi Moore. What do you think, Dear Reader? Let’s discuss.