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So there’s a trailer for the remake of Total Recall coming pretty soon. I know this because a trailer for the trailer has just been released recently? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I’ve seen a bit of this recently and it’s driving me insane. Can’t they just release the actual trailer and be done with it? The point of a trailer is to get you excited about the movie it’s advertising. So presumably the point of one of these little teasers is to get you excited about the trailer. That has to be one of the stupidest concepts I’ve ever fucking heard. Since when is a trailer meant to be as anticipated as the movie itself? I feel it has a lot to do with two major problems that we have now:

1. I don’t want to be one of those arseholes who picks on Hollywood, because the Hollywood systemisthe dream factory it says it is, in a lot of ways, but fuck, in this case they deserve to be picked on. Listen up, Hollywood. You want to get me excited about a movie? Don’t insult my intelligence. Give me an idea of what the movie you’re advertising is about, then I’ll judge for myself whether it’s something I’m interested in seeing. Just like any other industry, if you release a good product, and you are willing to stand by the quality of your product, it will sell. Don’t show me a whole bunch of half second clips of random shit that have been stuck together like a jigsaw puzzle that’s been put together by Stevie Wonder.

2. This is more important than point 1, and I hate generalising, but… THE PUBLIC IS MADE UP OF FUCKING MORONS! Your average movie-goer has a very short attention span, and isn’t interested in trailers that take any longer than 30 seconds, or even knowing what a movie’s plot might be, for that matter. No, just throw a bunch of explosions in their face in quick succession, and they’ll come and watch your steaming pile of shit.

Dear Reader, sometimes I weep for the future. That may sound extreme for something as simple as what equates to nothing more than a silly little commercial, but what something like this says to me is that the only way you’re going to get people to come see your movie is by throwing braindead garbage they’re way, because the people making the movies think that’s what the public wants. Are they feeding is this because that’s what we’re hungry for, or are we eating this shit up because we’re told that’s what we should have? It’s a real “chicken or the egg” situation. Either way, it’s sad, and frightening. It’s sad that the general public is that stupid, and it’s frightening to think that there’s less room and less money for those who attempt to make something high-concept and risky. The days of smart cinema seem to be getting shorter and shorter as the audience for it diminishes. Soon, every movie released will look like Transformers, where a bunch of CGI blobs get thrown at each other in quick edits and you can’t even tell what the fuck is going on, but no one will care. I don’t want the world to end up that way.

OK, enough ranting. Here is that stupid little fucking Total Recall teaser, posted here as an example of how not to advertise a movie.

And here is an example of how it should be done, one of the absolute best trailers ever released.

I hope this trend fucks off soon, I really do.