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Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve written before about how repulsive I find Jersey Shore to be, and now it appears that here in Australia, we’re getting our own shitty version of the shitty fucking show. Thanks, America. Thanks a lot.

SNOOKI WANT SMOOSH SMOOSH!

According to this article from The Sydney Morning Herald, Network Ten is working on a show called The Shire, Australia’s own version of Jersey Shore. Take this choice quote from Network Ten’s chief programming officer, David Mott:

 The Shire is a fascinating look into a unique sub-culture in Australia  and the first time a local dramality series is being introduced to the  commercial television landscape. The Shire is a glimpse behind the curtain into the heart of Australia  as you have never seen it before. From their hectic and crazed social lives to problems with work and family, The Shire will leave no stone unturned. The genre has been a hit in the US (Jersey Shore) and the UK (The  Only Way is Essex), changing the way people view television, and we intend  to do the same. The Shire epitomises the progression of reality television and in this  social media age, we’ve built a show that is not only entertaining but  capitalises on all the twitterverse and blogosphere has to offer. It is the next step in the reality TV phenomenon.

There are so many things about that quote that make me want to punch this idiot in the fucking face. First of all, he uses the word “dramality”. WHAT THE FUCK IS A “DRAMALITY”? That’s the kind of bullshit buzzword that people in marketing come up with to try and sound cool, but really makes them sound stupid, and just makes everyone else stupider while they’re at it. “Dramality”, fuck off. “Twitterverse” and “blogosphere” are just as bad, mind you.

And this dependency on social media to boost show’s ratings is horrible, too. When it’s used in live shows where viewers can submit questions line Q&A or Can Of Worms, that’s fine, I get that. But when your dependency on social media integration becomes more important than actually producing an enjoyable show, that’s a fucking problem.

It’s bad enough that Jersey Shore has to exist. Now we have to make our own version of it, too? It’s a very sad day for smart, original programming. When is this shit going to end?

Please, just fuck off already.

Dear Reader, I beg of you, please stop watching Jersey Shore, and when The Shire (orThe Shite, as I will be referring to it if I ever have to mention it again) comes along, make sure to avoid it like the plague. We’ll all be better for it.

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