The 84th Academy Awards ceremony, or the Oscars, if you will, is on today, but I’m sure they will be boring as fuck as always and those who really deserve to win will be overlooked, as usual (if it was up to me, The Inbetweeners Movie would be up for everything, so take that as you will). So fuck the Oscars, Dear Reader, and let’s concentrate on the real fun. I’m talking of course about the Razzies.
The Golden Raspberry Awards, or as they’re colloquially known, The Razzies, are basically the anti-Oscars. Each year, right around Oscar time, the Razzies are handed out to celebrate the worst in film that year. And this year, the piece of shit otherwise known as Adam Sandler, has broken the record for the highest number of Razzie nominations. Eddie Murphy previously held the record with 5, but Adam Sandler has smashed that record to pieces with an outstanding 11.
Now, like most people my age, I have enjoyed Adam Sandler’s work in the past. He started leading his own movies when I was a kid, so I was age-appropriate to enjoy things like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. And I will always defend The Wedding Singer, which still stands up today as a great rom-com. But then one day, I remember seeing Little Nicky. It was one of the biggest steaming piles of shit I have ever seen, Since then, Adam Sandler has just kept going on a huge downward spiral, and doesn’t show any signs of stopping. Sometimes I think he’s doing this fucking shit on purpose, to see how low and terrible he can make his movies sink, and still sell tickets. Like a giant experiment.
With his work in Jack And Jill and Just Go With It under his belt, I’m sure he’ll do well at the Razzies this year. So best of luck, you useless bastard.