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So, I finally did it. I finally sat down and watched ‘Jersey Shore’. One thing I told myself I would never do. But I had to see what all the hype was, and fuck it, there was nothing else on, so I gave it a try.

I only lasted about 10 minutes. It was, in every sense of the word, awful. It looks terrible, it is very uneventful for something that feels so fabricated, and worst of all, the people on the show are vacuous, disgusting, and pardon my French, cunts. Just disgraces to humanity.

Now granted, I knew this would be the case going in. It’s not my type of show, but I understand that things that aren’t to my taste still appeal to others of different dispositions. Of course they do. That’s what’s great about our huge world of entertainment. There’s something for everybody.

But I feel that ‘Jersey Shore’ is a special case. It has a huge audience, but I know that only a small percentage of those watching are people who genuinely enjoy the show. I have nothing against them. They like what they like, that’s fine. The dangerous viewers are those that are growing and growing in numbers. These are the people that are watching the show ironically.

The trend of watching shows or movies like this in an ironic fashion in nothing new. It is, however, on the increase, and is the reason that shows like ‘Jersey Shore’ remain popular. Certain types of people like to watch the show because they know that the people on it are stupid pieces of shit, and that makes the viewer feel better about themselves because they can say “look at these idiots! I’m glad I’m not that stupid!”

The reason I call these types of viewers dangerous is because they will watch ‘Jersey Shore’, laugh at the circus that is being shown to them, and wonder how it remains on the air. They seem to forget that they ARE the reason. Whether you watching for pleasure, or for pain, the ratings show up just the same. It’s a cheap show to make, and it’s getting huge ratings, so it will continue to be produced. The danger is that the executives who put this garbage on air will see this as the easiest way for their stations to make money, and so continue to produce material of the same ilk, meaning that new, creative, interesting material that would challenge viewers instead of making them increasingly dumber would completely disappear. We would eventually be left with a world where every show on television would look like ‘Jersey Shore’ and we would all be sitting on the couch drooling on ourselves, with empty food packets all over the floor, and getting high on the smell of our own farts.

Hopefully though, the popularity of ‘Jersey Shore’ will start to drop, but chances are if it does, it’s because the audience for it has moved onto something else it can make fun of, because that is the trend that will never truly go away. We saw the same thing a few years ago with the popularity of the films of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are the creative team (I use the word “creative” very loosely) behind movies such as ‘Date Movie’, ‘Meet The Spartans’ and ‘Disaster Movie’. They were on a huge winning streak for awhile there, pulling in worldwide grosses reaching close to $100 million dollars per film, on very small budgets due to their use of no-name actors, cheap sets, etc. It seems now though that audiences have grown weary of their material, and can no longer enjoy the ironic thrill of entering a theatre and yelling out “BORING!” at every joke that these films attempt to throw at us. That can only be fun for so long. The people who kept lining the pockets of Friedberg and Seltzer have moved on, and are probably now responsible for the popularity of ‘Jersey Shore’.

So here is my plea, Dear Reader. Next time you feel like sitting down to watch ‘Jersey Shore’ so you can say to yourself “Wow, look at Snooki. What the fuck is that thing? What a fucking moron. How come she gets to be on TV?”, remember that you’re responsible for the amount of money that keeps getting thrown her way, along with the other idiots with stupid fucking names on that horrible, horrible show. Change the channel, watch the news, read a book, go outside, expand your mind. Fuck, ANYTHING that doesn’t involve watching ‘Jersey Shore’. Help us build a world of smarter people, a world where anything that can happen, instead of the world we are heading towards, where we will eventually reach a point where we can’t tell the difference between good and bad entertainment, or we won’t even have a choice. Stop giving Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino money.

Seriously, look at that fucking cunt. He doesn’t deserve your money.